Let’s just say that change is not my thing. Even when it’s a change for the eventual better, I will struggle at first to adjust. I’m a creature of habit and routine. And I like it that way. But all of a sudden, my life is chock-full of change. It seems like every aspect of my life is undergoing an overhaul.
After the car accident, my car was totaled. I’m annoyed because it was absolutely my fault. If I had been paying better attention, I would still have my car. I’d buy the same car again in a heartbeat but because of the high mileage on mine, the settlement was not enough to do that. I owned the car for almost four years and the same model year has actually gone UP in price since I bought it (and moved to a more expensive market). So the hunt continues for a reliable, low-ish mileage, decent MPG car that I actually can fit my 5’-11” frame in. It’s harder than it seems.
Then, my sister moved to Texas. It seems so simple when I type it out but the truth is more complicated. She’s one of my best friends and we’ve been roommates in my house for three and a half years. I’ve never lived in this house alone for more than four months at a time (when she had to temporarily relocate for work). During that temporary relocation period, it was just that: temporary. Moving to Texas is not intended to be temporary. During the lead up to her actual move date, we focused a lot on what life was going to be like for her in Texas and I kind of forgot to think much about what life would be like for me here. I was (and am) so sure she was making the right move that the aftermath felt unimportant. And in some ways, it has been. Being alone in the house feels right in a lot of ways, ways that I can’t even really elucidate. Don’t get me wrong; I miss her and it has been an adjustment to come home to an empty house. But I don’t feel unsettled or lonely or depressed. I actually feel pretty normal.
Then work…oh, work. I have spent more time talking about work in this space than any other topic. Which is funny to me, because I don’t talk about it in any kind of specifics (mostly because I would like to keep working there). But it is a huge part of my life and my time, so it occupies a proportionally large amount of my thoughts. When last we left our fair heroine, she was coping with the loss of a valued coworker and the addition of new competition. Well, even that status didn’t stay quo for very long. My boss announced shortly thereafter that he would be leaving to take a position at another location in our company. At first I was really upset. I don’t particularly like the guy (case in point) but at least he knew what was going on around here with all of the other changes. A new guy from out of state wasn’t going to have clue one about how we do business here in the Far North.
Well, all of that is true, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. I spent significant portions of Thursday and Friday one-on-one with the new guy. We discussed the job, the facility, the local market, and everything else under the sun. I am feeling increasingly optimistic about my job and the situation I’m in. He’s level-headed, straightforward, logical, and funny. He has little patience for some of the nonsense that has been going on at my facility. Things as stupid as my desk situation had him shaking his head and promising things would change. I recognize it’s very early (he’s only been here a week) but I feel like we get along really well and have a lot of the same goals. It’s damn refreshing, is what it is.
The crazy thing is that all of these changes aren’t freaking me out. They’re making me wonder what’s around the corner. They’re making me excited about the possibilities. They’re making me question what my life is making room for, what I’m on the cusp of. For a girl who hates change, this feels really strange. But it sure is a nice alternative to worry and stress.