On the Radio

Far North is generally a weird place. It kind of has to be, in some ways. It’s cut off from the rest of the country, it has ridiculously extreme weather, and it attracts a certain…independent spirit. Even so, with the advent of the Internet, you would think we’d see how others are doing things and step up our game.

Yeah, not so much.

One of the places where this is most evident is in local commercials. The worst ones are on TV, with their terrible acting and low production value. But the radio ones aren’t a whole lot better. Just in the last couple of weeks, I’ve heard the following three.

The same furniture store that brought you a dining room “suit” has returned with an ad for “quarter-sewn” oak dining tables. I didn’t know oak could be stitched. Or perhaps, they’re “quarter-sown”. Maybe they’re planted with quarters for…good luck or something? Either way, they’re apparently not “quarter-sawn“, which produces beautiful, flecked wood. Slipped one past the copy-editors again, hm?

And now, between sewn and sown and sawn, words have lost all meaning.

Next up is the local car dealership whose ad includes a brief rundown of the used vehicles they have for sale, including an “oh-seven” this, and an “oh-four” that and an “oh-twelve” something or other.

Oh-twelve? Really? No one noticed that one? I mean, if I’m being charitable, there IS a zero in front of the twelve. But no. Just…no.

The final example comes not from an error in ad copy so much as a error in judgement. It seems there’s now an express brow-waxing place nearby that goes by “Brow-Chicka Brow Bar”. Objectively, I suppose it’s clever, and maybe I’m just uptight. But if I were going on name alone, I’d probably steer clear, for fear that I was walking in to the middle of a porn shoot. And judging by how many times the name was repeated in the ad (and the suggestive way in which it was said), that’s exactly what they want you to think. I’m just not sure that’s a solid marketing strategy.

Although, it made me remember the name, didn’t it? Point to the porny eyebrow store.

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